You don't mind taking care of Sophie's work while she's away next week, do you?

Can you help me with this project? It could really do you with your expertise.

Just come out for one drink - it's my birthday!

Do you find it difficult to say 'no'? You are not alone! In fact, the majority of us are people pleasers. We don't want to let people down, appear to be uncommitted or unreliable, so we end up saying yes. Yes to that extra project that'll keep you there until 8 pm, yes to answering calls and emails out of office hours and yes to those Friday after work drinks when you're so shattered that all you want to do is go home, watch Netflix and chill. But you need to save face, and can't possibly let anyone down. So you smile, nod and say: YES.

Taking on additional assignments and leadership responsibilities can benefit your career and should be encouraged. However, if you find that you're yes-ing yourself towards a burnout, below are some strategies to help effectively manage your workload so you can agree to things that add value, and say 'NO' to things that compromise your performance in the long run. Needless to say this also goes for your wider social life commitments – essential for work-life balance and your overall sanity!

Prioritize

As you know, certain projects have more preference than others. Depending on your position, your manager may be the best person to ask about this. Your idea of what must be done and your boss's to do list might look completely different. So make sure you're both on the same page and ask for help prioritizing, as there might be flexibility to push back a deadline of another project that you weren't aware of.

For your personal life, think about the key areas of your life: relationships, career and health. Which area have you been neglecting that needs more attention at the moment? Use this to guide your decision-making.

Set weekly goals

Making a weekly plan can help you avoid biting off more than you can chew. Allocating your time to your tasks allows you to easily see if you can fit anything else in. I would recommend doing this on a Sunday night or first thing on Monday morning so you can weave in your personal commitments – keeping that work-life balance in check.

Delegate

Delegation can be difficult to do, yet absolute necessary at times. Surely it's quicker and easier for you to just do the work that needs to be done, rather than spend time explaining it to someone else, right? Wrong. Whether or not you're a manager, there are opportunities to delegate to colleagues. It helps to look back and analyse your to-do list over the last week. Are all of your tasks in your job description? If not, then perhaps make a more conscious effort to delegate.

Social norms and saying NO

It's worth mentioning that new research shows women have a harder time saying no than men. Katharine O'Brien, a postdoctoral research associate at the Baylor School of Medicine, and Eden King of George Mason University discovered that social norms guide women's behaviour. They are seen as nurturing and caring, and they get a deep sense of guilt whenever they say 'no'. Interestingly, it also appears to have a more negative impact on their careers than when men say 'no'.

The trick is when you're propositioned with extra work, to really think it through even if that means biding yourself more time by saying, “Let me take a look at my urgent priorities and I'll get back to you ASAP.” This gives you a chance to figure out what you can achieve, realistically.

 How to say NO

If it has to be a 'no' then how you phrase it can make a huge difference in how you come across. You need to be gracious, tactful and diplomatic, and always remember to stay solution focussed as opposed to problem focussed. That's how you'll earn the respect of your colleagues. Use phrases such as:

“I was planning to spend my schedule on [XYZ tasks] next week, but would you mind helping me prioritize these so I can find a way of fitting Sophie's work in? Perhaps myself and Ben can share her workload over the week?”

“Thank you so much for thinking of me for this project. Yes, I am highly experienced in astrophysics, which is relevant to the project. I do already have 11 hours of work per day scheduled in for this week though – perhaps you could ask Lisa as she also has astrophysics knowledge?”

“You know I would usually love to join you for a drink, it's just been a really tough week for me and I need to relax at home. I hope you can understand.”

Finally, follow these general rules of thumb:

• Always explain the reasons behind your 'no' so that people understand where you are coming from
• Say it face-to-face where possible, as emails can be misconstrued
• Build your reputation for being hardworking, approachable and reliable which will make it easier to say 'no' when you really have to
• Protect your reputation by avoiding the habit of saying 'no' all the time

“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are.” - Steve Jobs

If you are thinking about your next career move and would like to discuss opportunities, here's 3 things you can do:

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Contact me on 0401 659 354 or bhoness@morganconsulting.com.au